You can’t spend 4 months in an ice house without emerging looking a little pasty. Don’t hide it — flaunt it. Put on your favorite pair of shorts and raise a toast to your glorious pearly legs. Just add Skaalvenn Vodka and coffee liqueur to a glass of ice and top it off with a splash of heavy cream and a garnish of lefse. If we can’t make fun of ourselves, who can we make fun of? Oh, that’s right — Iowans.